The definition of a narcissist is: Excessive self love; inordinate fascination with ones self.
The definition of an Altruist is: selflessness.
Those definitions being given, it is the opinion of this writer that we live in a narcissistic world. We are self absorbed. The prevalent condition in our society is to think mainly of self (self absorbed). Can you tell by the following list where you might fall?
1.)
Narcissist: Takes every statement made as a personal criticism
Altruist: Believes the best and always gives the benefit of the doubt if there is a question.
2.)
Narcissist: Thinks of what he (or she) wants to do on vacation, to eat for dinner, or movie to go
to.
Altruist: Asks what others want to do on vacation, to eat, or movie they would like to see.
3.)
Narcissist: Can't allow others an opinion. He (she) is just right because of who he (she) believe
themselves to be (which is always right).
Altruist: Will concede to a point even if they know for a fact they are right, to make another
feel good.
4.)
Narcissist: What others do or don't becomes about him (her).
Altruist: Thinks that there is always a reason for things and overlooks the greatest of
offenses.
5.)
Narcissist: The ultimate poor me person.
Altruist: The ultimate poor you person.
6.)
Narcissist: Asks what can you do for me?
Altruist: Asks what can I do for you?
7.)
Narcissist: Things that happen to those around him (her) or close to him (her) becomes more
about him (her) than it was about the person to which it happened.
Altruist: When things happen to those around them they try to fix the problem in every way
that brings peace to all.
I grew up in a home with one parent that leaned very heavily toward being a complete narcissist and one that leaned very heavily toward being a complete altruist. The one that was more narcissist had two parents that were narcissistic and the one that was altruist in nature had two that were very balanced between the two.
To be at peace a person needs to be balanced. Nothing is ALWAYS about you or anyone else. You cannot solve everyone else's problems. There is something you can do about both things.
The Bible teaches us in Philippians 4:4-7(NIV) Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Friday, October 2, 2009
HEADLINE: MEN AND WOMEN AFFECTED BY SEVERE PMS
Most of you have heard of it and all have experienced the debilitating effects of PMS. Yes Poor Me Syndrome is spreading across the world like frogs in the Egyptian plagues of old.
Take me for instance! I am probably one of the most blessed women I have ever known, but have been suffering profusely from Poor Me Syndrome of late. Here are just two examples:
Last Friday we were getting ready to have a garage sale and my husband, through absolutely no malicious intent whatsoever, suggested we sell something that I had made in high school and my mother had gone to great lengths to keep for me. I immediately started to cry, but after a short prayer realized that it was just a thing after all and most likely fit into the category of a treasure laid up on this earth. BUT that is not the end of the story. You see later that day I continued to pine over the incident telling my daughter-in-law that NO ONE ever remembered anything that was just about me and swore her to secrecy about my feelings.
Monday morning arrived and my husband and I are sitting in the office with the radio on. A song came on that played on the first date (and only date) we had before we were married, he rose from the desk and said this is our song do you want to dance?
Now having stretched back out from the one inch size that brought me down to, brings us to last night.
I had been telling the same two people that I felt abandoned by all of my friends, and no one ever wanted to just get together and be with us. Now that was bad enough, but when it came to my prayer time, I told God basically the same thing and said, "God, if I have even one friend please let them contact me tomorrow." ARE YOU CRINGING YET?
Two thirty in the morning arrives and it is burning up in our bedroom. I ask my hubby if he wants to go in the office a while to cool down. So that is what we did and that is when things get started.
First I checked my email and a blog I usually look at about half way through the day by O.S. Hillman was already posted, so I went in to look at it. The reference to the scripture was about the story of the garden and Jesus asking His disciples (also known as his friends) to just stay up with Him while He prayed so they wouldn't fall into temptation (they fell asleep) Luke 22:41-46, one of the twelve betrayed Him unto death with a kiss Luke 22:48, then there was Peter denying Him three times Luke 22:55-62, and finally Jesus ultimately dying on the cross alone all who knew him and followed stood at a distance watching Luke 23:49.
It was as though the Lord were saying to me, who are you to gripe about ANYTHING? (He always makes me laugh and cry at the same time. So convicting and shows me my smallness too!)
These two incidents are maybe the smallest of all of the trials in my life right now, but because I was feeling sorry for myself, they had become monsters in my life. There are no sufferings or trials we have that Christ Himself did not suffer with the agony of all of us together. We cannot begin to perceive the depth of anxiety He must have felt.
What we can experience is the depth of His love and forgiveness daily. All we have to do is ask. By the way, a friend did get in touch early this morning and ask us to just come be with them for an evening. So when you are experiencing Poor Me Syndrome just remember GOD ANSWERS BEFORE WE EVEN ASK! PRAISE HIM TODAY AND FOREVER or the rocks will! Amen.
Take me for instance! I am probably one of the most blessed women I have ever known, but have been suffering profusely from Poor Me Syndrome of late. Here are just two examples:
Last Friday we were getting ready to have a garage sale and my husband, through absolutely no malicious intent whatsoever, suggested we sell something that I had made in high school and my mother had gone to great lengths to keep for me. I immediately started to cry, but after a short prayer realized that it was just a thing after all and most likely fit into the category of a treasure laid up on this earth. BUT that is not the end of the story. You see later that day I continued to pine over the incident telling my daughter-in-law that NO ONE ever remembered anything that was just about me and swore her to secrecy about my feelings.
Monday morning arrived and my husband and I are sitting in the office with the radio on. A song came on that played on the first date (and only date) we had before we were married, he rose from the desk and said this is our song do you want to dance?
Now having stretched back out from the one inch size that brought me down to, brings us to last night.
I had been telling the same two people that I felt abandoned by all of my friends, and no one ever wanted to just get together and be with us. Now that was bad enough, but when it came to my prayer time, I told God basically the same thing and said, "God, if I have even one friend please let them contact me tomorrow." ARE YOU CRINGING YET?
Two thirty in the morning arrives and it is burning up in our bedroom. I ask my hubby if he wants to go in the office a while to cool down. So that is what we did and that is when things get started.
First I checked my email and a blog I usually look at about half way through the day by O.S. Hillman was already posted, so I went in to look at it. The reference to the scripture was about the story of the garden and Jesus asking His disciples (also known as his friends) to just stay up with Him while He prayed so they wouldn't fall into temptation (they fell asleep) Luke 22:41-46, one of the twelve betrayed Him unto death with a kiss Luke 22:48, then there was Peter denying Him three times Luke 22:55-62, and finally Jesus ultimately dying on the cross alone all who knew him and followed stood at a distance watching Luke 23:49.
It was as though the Lord were saying to me, who are you to gripe about ANYTHING? (He always makes me laugh and cry at the same time. So convicting and shows me my smallness too!)
These two incidents are maybe the smallest of all of the trials in my life right now, but because I was feeling sorry for myself, they had become monsters in my life. There are no sufferings or trials we have that Christ Himself did not suffer with the agony of all of us together. We cannot begin to perceive the depth of anxiety He must have felt.
What we can experience is the depth of His love and forgiveness daily. All we have to do is ask. By the way, a friend did get in touch early this morning and ask us to just come be with them for an evening. So when you are experiencing Poor Me Syndrome just remember GOD ANSWERS BEFORE WE EVEN ASK! PRAISE HIM TODAY AND FOREVER or the rocks will! Amen.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
HONOR AND TRAINING
Have you noticed the disrespect that parents are treated with by many of the young people of our era? A friend said to me yesterday that she just wished she could be in the same room with her grandchildren for more than 10 minutes without wishing they would leave. When I asked why, she told me they were just rude.
God instructs us in Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth". Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
It seems a lot of parents today want their kids to know about the first part of this where they get honor, but do they recognize the part about not exasperating their children.
I looked up the word exasperate and this is what it said: to irritate intensely; infuriate.
Here is a list of was to exasperate your children:
1.) Telling them God's Word for their lives but not applying it to your own.
2.) Yelling about everything they do.
3.) Never giving them credit for being good.
4.) Not being the adult in a situation.
5.) Arguing with your child.
6.) Calling them names (that you would be offended if someone called you).
7.) Teasing beyond it being fun for them.
8.) Calling attention to their failures in front of other adults.
9.) Making promises you break (not just on good things, but even on punishments)
Matthew 5:37 Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
10.) Forgetting what they tell you.
The interesting thing is that none of us would take these things from someone else, but I have seen lots of parents do them to their children. Maybe, if we did not exasperate our children, they could grow up showing more honor and would thereby have a long enjoyable life on earth.
Think about it, pray about it. If the shoe fits, wear it, if not.......Praise God!
God instructs us in Ephesians 6:1-4 (NIV) Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. "Honor your father and mother"—which is the first commandment with a promise— "that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth". Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
It seems a lot of parents today want their kids to know about the first part of this where they get honor, but do they recognize the part about not exasperating their children.
I looked up the word exasperate and this is what it said: to irritate intensely; infuriate.
Here is a list of was to exasperate your children:
1.) Telling them God's Word for their lives but not applying it to your own.
2.) Yelling about everything they do.
3.) Never giving them credit for being good.
4.) Not being the adult in a situation.
5.) Arguing with your child.
6.) Calling them names (that you would be offended if someone called you).
7.) Teasing beyond it being fun for them.
8.) Calling attention to their failures in front of other adults.
9.) Making promises you break (not just on good things, but even on punishments)
Matthew 5:37 Simply let your 'Yes' be 'Yes,' and your 'No,' 'No'; anything beyond this comes from the evil one.
10.) Forgetting what they tell you.
The interesting thing is that none of us would take these things from someone else, but I have seen lots of parents do them to their children. Maybe, if we did not exasperate our children, they could grow up showing more honor and would thereby have a long enjoyable life on earth.
Think about it, pray about it. If the shoe fits, wear it, if not.......Praise God!
Friday, September 11, 2009
TOXIC WASTE
When my children were small, they heard frequently from me the term.."Trash in, trash out!" The term originated with the early computers and meant that what you put into the computer is what you were going to get out (still applies today)! The statement to my children was concerning the tv shows they watched, the books they read and even the people they would 'hang' with.
Today you can't turn on the tv, read most books on the shelves for the general public, or for that matter go out in public without hearing words that make you wonder what happened to polite society, let alone Christianity.
The Bible admonishes us in James 3:7-12 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bare figs? Neither then can a salt spring produce fresh water.
As Christians it is our responsibility to bear fruit, not just with our deeds, but with our words. If we are spewing toxic words from our mouths, we will put to waste our children, grandchildren and the children next door. We also put to waste our Christian witness; we insult the Lord that loved us enough to die to save us.
Consider your words today BEFORE you use them. Don't allow toxic waste to come out of your mouth, we have enough of it on the planet already!
Today you can't turn on the tv, read most books on the shelves for the general public, or for that matter go out in public without hearing words that make you wonder what happened to polite society, let alone Christianity.
The Bible admonishes us in James 3:7-12 All kinds of animals, birds, reptiles and creatures of the sea are being tamed and have been tamed by man, but no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be. Can both fresh water and salt water flow from the same spring? My brothers, can a fig tree bear olives, or a grapevine bare figs? Neither then can a salt spring produce fresh water.
As Christians it is our responsibility to bear fruit, not just with our deeds, but with our words. If we are spewing toxic words from our mouths, we will put to waste our children, grandchildren and the children next door. We also put to waste our Christian witness; we insult the Lord that loved us enough to die to save us.
Consider your words today BEFORE you use them. Don't allow toxic waste to come out of your mouth, we have enough of it on the planet already!
Thursday, September 10, 2009
ARE YOU AN A.H.?
Through the years I have met many professing Christian people who just can't let go of things, especially when it comes to being hurt by others. I have to admit at times I fit that category. These people can be called an A. H. Now before you get too offended, A.H. in my terminology stands for ANGER HOLDER (you thought it was something else didn't you?).
All throughout the Bible God reminds us that He is in charge of the retribution for those who harm us, but for some reason we can't let go of dwelling on even the smallest of offenses, let alone the really big ones. Each one of us can analyze why we do it until we are blue, but if we really look closely, a question arises:
DO YOU TRUST GOD?
Ok, I feel you bristling again... "Well of course I trust God!", you say.
What is trust? I looked it up for you:
(a) a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something
(b) acceptance without evidence or investigation.
Now think for a moment about the anger you are holding and I will ask you the question again, "Do you trust God?"
If your answer is yes than you must put your belief in the reliability, truth and strength of His Word, and yes with no evidence or investigation into the situation, you need to accept that God will take care of whatever you are willing to put into His hands.
The key word here is trust. The Word says in Proverbs 3:5-6 (5) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; (6) acknowledge him in all your ways and He will direct your paths.
When we hold anger, we are working in our own understanding and acknowledging ourselves not Him.
So remember, if anyone accuses you today of being an A.H., tell them you are a child of God and you are trusting Him in whatever situation you come into.
All throughout the Bible God reminds us that He is in charge of the retribution for those who harm us, but for some reason we can't let go of dwelling on even the smallest of offenses, let alone the really big ones. Each one of us can analyze why we do it until we are blue, but if we really look closely, a question arises:
DO YOU TRUST GOD?
Ok, I feel you bristling again... "Well of course I trust God!", you say.
What is trust? I looked it up for you:
(a) a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability or strength of someone or something
(b) acceptance without evidence or investigation.
Now think for a moment about the anger you are holding and I will ask you the question again, "Do you trust God?"
If your answer is yes than you must put your belief in the reliability, truth and strength of His Word, and yes with no evidence or investigation into the situation, you need to accept that God will take care of whatever you are willing to put into His hands.
The key word here is trust. The Word says in Proverbs 3:5-6 (5) Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; (6) acknowledge him in all your ways and He will direct your paths.
When we hold anger, we are working in our own understanding and acknowledging ourselves not Him.
So remember, if anyone accuses you today of being an A.H., tell them you are a child of God and you are trusting Him in whatever situation you come into.
Friday, August 21, 2009
DO YOU PLAY THE MARTYR GAME?
In this instance the definition of a martyr is a person who displays or exaggerates their discomfort in order to obtain sympathy or admiration.
There are many of these people in the religion of Christianity who want everything they do to be seen, every piece of paper they pick up acknowledged, every deed they do for someone else spread far and wide, and everyone to say how great and wonderful they are.
Jesus covered this so many times in His words, but one I especially like is found in Matthew 6:16-18 (NIV) "When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
Our daily lives as Christians are to serve the Lord in all we do. Many of us think that what we do, whether at home, work or play is about us and what we do at church or on Sunday is about God. Do you tell others what you do for them, or what you did for someone else, or even boast of what you did today for God. The Bible tells us we have our reward already if we martyr. Wouldn't you rather have the reward that awaits from the giver of all that is good, Our Father in heaven? THINK ABOUT IT!
The scripture in this blog is only one of the examples Christ used in Matthew 6. Read the Chapter, you'll see what I mean!
There are many of these people in the religion of Christianity who want everything they do to be seen, every piece of paper they pick up acknowledged, every deed they do for someone else spread far and wide, and everyone to say how great and wonderful they are.
Jesus covered this so many times in His words, but one I especially like is found in Matthew 6:16-18 (NIV) "When you fast, do not look somber as the hypocrites do, for they disfigure their faces to show men they are fasting. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you fast, put oil on your head and wash your face, so that it will not be obvious to men that you are fasting, but only to your Father, who is unseen; and your Father who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."
Our daily lives as Christians are to serve the Lord in all we do. Many of us think that what we do, whether at home, work or play is about us and what we do at church or on Sunday is about God. Do you tell others what you do for them, or what you did for someone else, or even boast of what you did today for God. The Bible tells us we have our reward already if we martyr. Wouldn't you rather have the reward that awaits from the giver of all that is good, Our Father in heaven? THINK ABOUT IT!
The scripture in this blog is only one of the examples Christ used in Matthew 6. Read the Chapter, you'll see what I mean!
Saturday, August 8, 2009
EVERYONE IS DEALING WITH SOMETHING
Philippians 14:12-13 (NIV) I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13I can do everything through him who gives me strength.
I have had a very sore foot for about a week and a half. It is so sore I haven't been able to walk normally. Today walking through a store, limping, I started to moan and groan about the entire situation when around the corner of the isle came a wheelchair with a lady that more than likely from the looks of things has never walked. I immediately felt convicted of the sin in my heart of griping about my situation.
There is always someone who has it a lot worse than you do. If you look around you'll see them. I realized when I saw the lady that while I had prayed about my situation, I had not really given it to God. I would finish the prayer and then pick up my problem and leave with it.
The Lord will give His people the strength they need to make it through anything if we will just let Him.
The question really is why do we want to be so stubborn that we would prefer to handle it ourselves? Good question don't you think? Especially, when it should be a God question.
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